The Beginning of the End
by sie-nicole
Summary: James/Lily finding-out-they're-pregnant-angst.


**Disclaimers:** Not my characters or my world, but JKR is pretty cool for letting me play with them!

**A/N:** This has been my head canon for the longest time, but it also requires messing with canon/timelines juuuuust a smidge. Whateva, I do what I want. It's also really sad, I'm sorry, but I haven't written Jily angst and I was just kind of feeling it lately. Reviews are pretty cool. :3

ps: 'Thomas' refers to Thomas McKinnon, who is Marlene's husband-to-be in one of my other fics, _For the Good of the Order_, which is on a bit of hiatus at the moment.

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**_The Beginning of The End_**

"Lily, c'mon!"

Lily Evans pulled her sweater as close to her body as she could. It was cold outside of the castle and the winter wind wasn't kind to the two battered wizards journeying on foot from the village of Hogsmeade.

"I'm trying James, I just –" her foot caught in the grass and the redhead fell onto her knees. She brushed it off hastily, noticing for the first time the slashes cut into her arms a legs – rough marks of curses thrown at her in a flurry. Between apparating to Hogsmeade and running back to the castle, she hadn't gotten a chance to do a full once-over on herself. She was a mess.

A hand reached down and pulled Lily off of the ground and into the chest of a tall dark haired boy. His palm pressed into the nape of her neck as he held onto her, his thin, athletic frame shuddering against her.

James Potter was scared.

It wasn't often that Lily saw her husband in a fragile state. James was smart about letting things roll of off his back. In the early days of their marriage, it felt like James could handle everything and anything that was thrown their way. Lily loved that about him. She envied it.

But on this night, they had faced Voldemort for the third time. They'd barely escaped.

And now James was scared.

Lily pulled away from him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before hurrying toward the castle.

The corridors were empty. It was just after ten, so even the older students were in bed. The couple rushed through the halls, despite the fact that they were doing no wrong.

Flashes of their last year at Hogwarts raced through Lily's mind – patrols with James as Head Boy and Head Girl, kissing James in this broom cupboard and that classroom, seeing the boys transform for the first time through that window, and, finally, as they stood in front of the griffin marking the entrance to Dumbledore's office, she remembered how she and James had come to learn about the Order of the Phoenix.

Times had certainly changed since then. Not just for the young couple, either. The world had become much darker in those couple of short years.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"The password?"

"Oh, right." She tried to access her memory of that morning. "Licorice wands?"

The statue didn't move.

"Shit." She was shaking. What was the bloody password? After everything she'd been through tonight, couldn't this _one_ thing be simple?

She didn't want to be here, doing this anymore. She wanted to climb the stairs until she was in the Gryffindor common room, curled by the fireplace with James and the boys, playing Exploding Snap with Mary and Marlene.

Marlene. Merlin, _Marlene_.

And suddenly, she was on the floor, sobbing, her chest heaving against her knees and her long hair falling in tangles around her face.

And then James was kneeling with her, pressing his forehead into hers, letting her cry into him.

"I know," he said gently. "I know it's hard. I need you to focus the best that you can, okay? Try to remember the password, that's all you have to do, okay? That's all, then we're safe. Then you're safe."

Lily nodded against him, despite the arguments running through her head as to why they were never safe. She took slow, deep breaths and after a few seconds, she had it.

"Sh-Sh-Sh-_Sugar quills_!"

The griffin sprung to life, leaping aside for the two young wizards to enter. Wiping her face on her sleeve, Lily stood, grabbed James' hand, and led the way into Dumbledore's office.

The man himself had his back to them when they entered. The walls were alive with chatter as the portraits of former headmasters discussed the resistance. Dumbledore, it seemed, had little to say on the matter and had taken to staring out of the large window that overlooked the Hogwarts grounds.

"Sir?" James asked, the word quiet and tentative as it crossed his lips. The elder wizard closed his eyes for a moment before turning to meet James and Lily.

"Sit," he instructed the pair, with a gentle patience. "Tell me about what happened."

But they were rooted to the spot and neither James nor Lily could move to take a seat.

"They took the McKinnons," Lily blurted out. "The Death Eaters – they took Marlene and Thomas…"

"The McKinnons are dead?" Dumbledore prompted. Lily nodded.

"Sir –" James interrupted, "that's not all. The Death Eaters, they didn't use a single killing curse against us – not that it kept them from using every other bit of dark magic they could think of."

"That is strange."

Lily wanted this to be over. "He showed up. You-Know-Who."

Dumbledore paused.

"Voldemort himself appeared?"

"Yes –"

"And, if I am correct, this is the third time you've face him?"

"_Yes_, but I don't see what that has to do with anything –"

"My dear, I am so sorry, but it has to do with everything." Dumbledore turned back to the window, a distant expression on his face. After a moment: "Alice Longbottom is pregnant."

James and Lily looked to each other, to see if maybe the other had withheld some information that would allow this news to makes sense. Alice was her friend, and it was unfortunate, yes, that she should become pregnant _now_ of all times, but she couldn't help feeling that she was missing some crucial link in Dumbledore's train of thought.

Silence washed over the trio. Even the portraits on the wall had quieted.

"_Born to those who have thrice defied him_…" Dumbledore's words were slow and careful, sounding as though he was repeating something.

"Thrice defied?" Lily couldn't take this anymore. "What are you talking about?"

"Lily," James said her name with such kindness, but Lily was beyond placating.

"I just saw my best friend and her husband _murdered_ and was nearly killed myself in the process of trying to escape. I'm sick of riddles and half-truths! I – want – some – answers!"

Dumbledore met her outburst with incredible sadness. "Please. Sit." He crossed to his desk and sat first, gesturing to the couple to follow. Lily's gaze never fell from Dumbledore.

"Two days ago, Alice Longbottom told me she was pregnant. She and Frank are, naturally, conflicted as to maintaining their position in the Order.

"Today, before you tracked the Death Eaters who took the McKinnons, I was holding interviews for the open Divination post."

"Sir, I don't see how –"

"James, please. It will all make sense shortly." He cleared his throat and started again. "I believe, in the course of my interviews, I met a potential candidate who was a true seer, though she may not be fully aware of her gift. She might have given us very crucial information to defeating Voldemort."

"_He is born_…" Lily repeated softly. "A child?"

"A child, with the power to defeat Voldemort, shall be born 'as the seventh month dies,' to those who have defied him three times."

"Alice and Frank?"

"So I thought. But tonight, the pair of you faced him for the third time and escaped. This… complicates the certainty I thought to have had about the subject of the prophecy."

_No._ Lily closed her eyes, digging her nails slowly into her owns hands.

"_As the seventh month dies_…But, there you go!" James said triumphantly. "It can't be us, because that would mean that Lily has to be…"

She could feel his eyes on her, even with her own eyes closed.

"Lily?"

She glanced up at him, a tiny quiver in her lip. "James," she breathed weakly, "I…I am so sorry."

"You're – You're…" he couldn't manage the word and she couldn't force out a response. She covered her mouth with her hands, nodding back at him.

James looked away from her, processing.

"I didn't know, Lily," Dumbledore said softly. "It could still be either child, for Voldemort has to mark the child as his equal."

"But we don't know which he'll choose."

"No," Dumbledore said simply.

Lily's heart was collapsing. A steady pounding started in her ears and images of Marlene and Thomas danced across her eyelids. James reached for Lily's hand, calming her as much as he could by guiding her gently toward him. He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms her protectively. She buried her face and hands in her hair, tears spilling over and onto him.

"I'm going to keep you safe," he whispered to her. He pulled away slightly, cleared his throat, and locked his eyes with Dumbledore's.

"What do we have to do now?"


End file.
